“Self-Compassion requires Self-Kindness, Common Humanity, and Mindfulness…”

SELF-COMPASSION…

First it requires SELF-KINDNESS…

That we be gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental.

Second, it requires recognition of our COMMON HUMANITY…

Feeling connected with others in the experience of life rather than feeling

Isolated and alienated by our suffering.

Third it requires MINDFULNESS…

That we hold our experience in balanced awareness, rather than ignoring our pain or exaggerating it.

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 41.

“Counteracting Self-Criticism…”

The best way to counteract self-criticism is to:

*UNDERSTAND it

*Have COMPASSION for it

*Then REPLACE it with a KINDER response

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 34.

“Highly Self-Critical People Assume Their Partners are Judging Them as Harshly as they Judge Themselves…”

5.0.2

“Highly self-critical people…assume their partners are JUDGING them as HARSHLY as they JUDGE THEMSELVES!”

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 30.

“Self-Criticism is a Cover-Up For the Desire to Control!”

“If we look more deeply, we see that harsh self-criticism is often used a COVER for something else:

THE DESIRE FOR CONTROL!”

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 27.

“I’m Going to Beat You to the Punch and Criticize Myself Before You Can…”

“I’m going to beat you to the punch and criticize myself before you can.

I recognize how flawed and imperfect I am so you don’t have to cut me down and tell me what I already know.”

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 24.

“The Illusion of Being in Control is Just That–An Illusion”

“The illusion of being in control is just that–an illusion.”

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P.73.

“We Have to Feel it to Heal it…”

“We can’t heal what we can’t feel.”

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 80.

“Mindfulness…Acceptance of the Present Moment.”

“Mindfulness refers to the clear seeing and nonjudgmental acceptance

of what’s occurring in the present moment.

Facing up to reality, it other words.”

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 80.

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

“Suffering is caused by resisting pain.

We can’t avoid pain in life, but we don’t necessarily have to suffer because of that pain…”

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

–Shinzen Young

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 93.

“Practicing Mindfulness is Like Pushing the Reset Button on Your Computer…”

“…When faced with adversity, our first reaction might be to immediately go into problem-solving mode without first stopping to tend to our emotional needs.

But if we can be mindful, even for just a moment. of the pain associated with failure or the stress and hardship entailed by difficult circumstances, we can take a step back and respond to our pain with kindness…

…Think of it as pushing the reset button on your computer when it gets locked up.

Rather than staying stuck in painful feelings of self-judgment or merciless stoicism, you can reboot your heart and mind so that they start flowing freely again.”

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York, NY: Harper Collins. P. 92-93.